The Sickest F***ing Stories I Ever Heard

We're starting up a new Chicago run of the profane story-telling show The Sickest F***in' Stories I Ever Heard. Join us for a free preview evening. We'll be working the kinks out of the show... and sharing some of our weirdest kinks.

It's opening night! And maybe we'll be talking about openings, if you know what I mean. (And I think you do.)

We'll be drinking real beer, playing real poker, and telling real (really sick, that is) stories.

We'll be drinking real beer, playing real poker, and telling real (really sick, that is) stories.

“Can You Feel The LOVE Tonight? What if I Wiggle My Finger, Can You Feel It Then?!?”

It’s February and the BIG ROMANTICS that run “THE SICKEST F***ING STORIES I EVER HEARD” are in the MOOD FOR LOVE. Or at least in the MOOD FOR SEX. (Buttsex.)

To celebrate the “Love Month”, the boys of SFS are surrendering the table to an all-female cast. And not just ANY ladies, these are the SICKEST GALS, we could find…

Here’s your cast for the Feb. 2 performance:

- Kat “Gone Wild” Gotsick will be dealing cards at the table and telling about her long-ago days stripping in El Paso, TX under the name “Peligro Pequeno”

-Lisa “Sex On The Board Room Table” Linke will give the skinny on what happens after hours in the office. Don’t get your dick stuck in the fax machine.

-Sara “I Like Olives” Wolfson will entertain the audience with her tales as a third-tier dominatrix in the Big Easy. The only Safety Word she’ll accept is “More Please”.

-Carissa “Ay Caramba” Diest is back from Las Vegas where she had sexual intercourse with “The Big Red”. No need for elaboration there, this chick is HARD CORE!

And there will be a MYSTERY GUEST in the final seat!!!

The Opening Monologue will be given by Harz Sonderricker’s ugly twin sister, “Helga
Sonderricker”. Let’s all hope that her vagina doesn’t fall out!

To make matters worse, the Manly Men of SFS will be showing an unnecessary display of solidarity with our female cast by manning the show… in drag. Horrible, horrible, drag.

You Gotta Come Out To See This Mess!

DIRTY, DIRTY STORIES FROM THE GIRLS!

POKER! BEER! DRAG!

Update: Check out these photos from the show!

We're inviting the producers of other shows to come and share their stories of terrible backstage debauchery.

One lucky(?) audience member will be randomly pulled up onto stage to round out our cast for the evening. Can the average joe (or joette) top our hand-picked storytellers? Knowing our sick audience, probably.

We'll be drinking real beer, playing real poker, and telling real (really sick, that is) stories.

Get out your "Ed Bus for President" buttons, because the kids from Schadenfreude take over the Sickest Stories show and bring their own unique brand of home-style Chicago stories to the Sickest Stories stage.

Remember that time when you went trick-or-treating as a kid and saw two homeless people screwing in the park and when you screamed in terror, they chased after you and took your candy bag and shit in it and said, "That'll teach you to watch decent peoples havin' a bang in the park, ya little pervert" while you peed your Big Bird costume?

Yeah, this show will be a lot like that.

Costumed audience members will be admitted for the low, low price of $2!

The Sickest Stories crew takes some time to tell what they're most thankful for -- tits, booze, Ace card drawn on the river and YOU! You'll be "thankful" that you saw this show!

This show is a little different than our usual -- we're pushing the poker table aside and asking back some of the wonderful (and terrible) storytellers we've had this year to wow us with their best story. And to get your butt in our seat, we've made tickets just $5.

We'll be bringing our own sick brand of story-telling to New York City for the Del Close Marathon -- 3 days of non-stop improv on 3 stages.

We'll be drinking real beer, playing real poker, and telling real (really sick, that is) stories.

We'll be drinking real beer, playing real poker, and telling real (really sick, that is) stories.

My god! It's all our nerdiest moments laid bare on the stage, just for your prurient pleasure.

Note: we will not be accepting any discounts for this show, as all proceeds will be going to help finance our trip to do the show in New York.

Join us as we kick the new year off right, with some sick stories.

Stories About Sexual Misconduct.

It's just our regular show, but that's still enough to freak out your mom.

A randomly selected audience will perform the show with us.

Stories About Whatever Comes Up.

It's our crazy show.

Oh god. We were getting fireworks ready for the show and we just wanted to set a few off for practice and one went off early and I think Chris blew off his wiener. We'll see you in August for our regular show -- hopefully Chris will have grown back his junk by then.

We get the Halloween season started right (which is to say, very, very wrong).

The Sickest F***ing Stories I Ever Heard is on hiatus. Thanks to all who came out to the shows.